“Heights of circumlocution”:

{Even as I’m typing this out, I have my “Cambridge advanced leaner’s dictionary (CALD)” open in another tab.
Reason: I can’t do justice to this article, without the aid of the “thesaurus”!!!:-p}
{The protagonists in this play are: MP and BR, ‘ with’ V and SD}
(MP and BR are in the process of ‘formulating’ an abstract for their project)
MP: (with his eyes glued to the laptop screen..he is ‘vehemently’ hitting the keyboard buttons: predominantly the backspace..)
( loudly to BR)
 This project aims at..
hmm..(pauses) no..no… ‘aims’ doesn’t sound good..(presses shift+f7 .. word thesaurus opens..) This project aspires……no..plans?? NOOO…intends?? Okay.. (continues typing..)
BR: (has this look on her face which reads : Oh gOd!! Now, what is this !!???!!!)
MP: (oblivious of BR’s expression..continues..):
This project intends to focus on..
(pauses again) Wait !! focus?? Noo.. I need another word…(shift+f7..types focus) ..
YEeeS !! (he gives a cry of jubilation, suddenly).. ‘concentrate’!! that’s the word!!
This project intends to concentrate on ..(continues typing)
V: (decides to help MP) how abt , concentrates on ‘monitoring of ’ …
MP: STOP (interrupts V)!! (shift+f7) monitoring…
BR: watching??(she suggests, browsing through the list of words displayed)
MP: NO!! “Keeping an eye on”, sounds better!!
This project intends to concentrate on keeping an eye on…
V:  Two “on’s” !! with a spacing of just 3 words?? How about substituting the last part with “scrutinize”??
MP: um, okay !!That ez also right …
This project intends to concentrate on scrutinizing the patients
BR: (to MP, in a tone dripping with sarcasm) hmph !! now type patients in the search box…
(MP is one step ahead.. he has already typed it, but this time.. !!)
MP: No results??? (he doesn’t want to give up his quest for finding a substitute busy connecting to the internet, now.. opens dictionary.com..Types ‘patient’)
Bingo!! GoT it !! “casualty”!!!(he exclaims)
This project intends to concentrate on scrutinizing the casualties using..
MP: (pauses now.. he decides to check the number of words before proceeding further ……highlights the text…)WHATTT ?? ONLY “..”??? I need more !!!!
BR: okay furrst type!! Then we’ll count the words !!
MP: wogay !! ..using GSM, right ??..
SD: (now, this is SD, the genius of our team!! She never runs out of suggestions :-p..i like calling her mind the devil’s workshop, at times(lol) :-p)
Why don’t you expand GSM ?? Now, that’ll give you more words !!
V: Wait !! I have a better idea!! Type global, system, mobile and communications in the thesaurus and ..
MP: (already in the process of typing it out !!)
MP,BR,V and SD: (putting their heads together): umm…GSM can be re- christened
“Cosmic Arrangement for Ambulatory Liaison”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{this exercise continues..}
(after a few more minutes) The final draft of the abstract is ready..
It reads :
“This project intends to concentrate on scrutinizing the casualties using “Cosmic Arrangement for Ambulatory Liaison”. Emphasis shall be laid on extending the wings of this fieldwork to zones of the apothecary , particularly in the annunciation systems.”
{the team members decide to get the authorization of their project guide, AK}
AK: (after carefully analyzing the paper…) pah !! very nice work !! (he says that in all seriousness…the team members try their level best to suppress their laughter!!!)… (he further continues) It seems to be in perfect tune with the IEEE standards  !!!(eagerly takes his pen out and signs)
TEAM: Thank you, sir!!
(they rush outside, for they can’t contain ‘it’ anymore !!)
(loudly): HAhAhAHaHeEeeeeeHaA!!!
Moral of the episode : I  leave it to the reader’s discretion!!!

3 thoughts on ““Heights of circumlocution”:

Drop your thoughts here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s