A man with a mastery in CE**- let’s call him the “Boss”
Sends mails to his team , hoping to address a “cause”…
But, Alas! What has he done!!!? To express this , I’m at total loss..”
So, take a look at it, yourself!!!
Presenting to you, “The unabridged mails- Regards, Boss”
- [An out of office message]
Thanks for your mail. I am on PTO and will return back to work on 7th Nov with limited access to my mails. Please accept delay in response to my emails.(Return with some sweets too, Boss… please!)
- [Mails explaining the late arrival to work]
(a)Team –FYI. I was stuck in my Car due to bad traffic near my home (due to water logging) and back home now. I’ll Will start after sometime and will reach around 11:30. (Stuck in your car? How sir? Fewiquik on seat?)(b)FYI .. My morning call is going is bit long .. will be bit late to office (c)Team –FYI. I’ll be bit late to office today, since my vehicle is having problem, hence I taking it to garage.
- [Explaining the reason(s) for leaving early]
(a) Team, As I have to collect my kid from school, I’m leaving early (Collect his books and bag too, sir… Without fail!) (b) I reached home as day was very hectic, and govt. officials tied me up for entire day (Tied you up the tree?How was the view, sir?)
- [A mail looping a missing recipient]
Hi X, Missed you in the status! (yeeahh? she didn’t miss you, though!)
- [A mail explaining the project “impediments”]
We cannot use the existing gift card with 0 balance as a new gift card. Either NEW GIFT CARDS and new gift cars no may help (Gift cars? Why not, boss.. Why not?)
- [A mail thanking the team for all the support and effort- On the last day]
Hi All, Yesterday was my last day on ABC project. I would like to take this movement to thanks everyone for giving me this opportunity. I had ball time along with lots of learning when I look back my tenure on this project. Especially, would like to thanks PQ for giving chance to be in his inner circle and learn from his experience. (Wow! We hope you have a bat time in your next project!)
- [A mail quoting reasons for his PTO]
Team – I am not feeling well since last night. Looks like received few virus from my son ” 🙂 “who is sick since last Saturday. I had medicines, will come to office once I feel bit better else prefer to be at PTO during second half . Feel free to call me. (Ahem! I got few bacteria too… They were looking good! and see? I’m smiling “:-D”)
Now, with all due respect to the boss, this post was not meant to humor his English (after all, he is the guy with a mastery!)
Having said this, it goes without saying that this post was written merely for fun!!
Have more to share? Please do so in the comments section of this post. Cheers 🙂
**CE baseline assessment is a test that is conducted by some firms to test the English skills of its employees. “Mastery” is the highest attainable grade in this test
Grammatical mistakes in the post? Apologies . These are effects of my associations with, #YouKnowWhom 😛